I started sharing snapshots of being up with my baby. Here’s what I learned—

I’m not alone, and neither are you.
You’re not the only mama rocking her baby at 2 AM. You’re not the only mama who feels like she’s fighting her baby every night at bedtime. You’re not the only mama who feels like a failure because of the bedtime struggle or nightly wake ups. You’re not the only mama who doesn’t know what else to do or try. Wondering what part of the schedule to change, what to add to the nightly routine, how to sleep for more than a few hours at a time again. My dms have been full of messages this week validating that.

Being a mama is tough, but so are we. God built us differently. He designed us in a way that we can keep going when we truly don’t believe we can. In a way that pushes and stretches us to grow in new ways. In a way that helps us get up one more time. To be exactly what our babies need at 2 AM.

I’m currently sitting in my recliner at 2:10 AM and have lost count at the number of wake ups we’ve had tonight. I can’t remember how long I’ve been sitting here (this is definitely the second time tonight I’ve come out here, not including the bedtime wrestling match. It’s a little more cozy and relaxing by the glow of the Christmas lights). I can feel the bags under my eyes growing. The dark circles setting in. I thank the Lord that I’m currently on Christmas break. Not sharing this as a “poor, pitiful me”, but as a reminder that we are not alone, mamas.

As my little one cries out for me again, I’m reminded that I am his calm. I am his safe place. So I’m hugging him a little tighter because one day, he won’t need me like this.